Has anyone noticed how many people have a dead-eyed stare when they’re walking around in public? On TikToks related to work and retail positions, it even has a (not-so-correct) name: the Gen-Z Stare.

The stare is not something new, per se. We’ve all seen people who seem to be burnt out to the point of pure dissociation — a look where it literally seems like their souls have left their bodies or that they are too burnt out to care.

It used to be a look that was rare; a dead stare that was often left for people like worn-out students in STEM, doctors who worked a long shift, or even stone-faced police officers who had a rough schedule.

Lately, it seems like that same blank stare keeps hitting more and more people. I see it even in myself — and I’m kind of famous for my joie de vivre, so to speak. Or at least, I used to be fairly famous for my vivacious attitude.

Okay, full disclosure: I’ve been insanely burnt out lately. As in, I almost ended up in a psych ward because I’m very burnt out and haven’t been feeling rewarded for the hard work I’ve been doing to try to build my life back from the ashes.

Someone mentioned that I looked like I was dissociating at work and that was when I realized that I needed to fix things.

Surprise! (Erm, not really.) It’s actually a clear body language sign of burnout. That’s right. Studies are showing that people are experiencing burnout at a wild new level.

Burnout can happen from a wide range of different causes:

Yeah. We as a society are burnt out. All of us, to some degree, are dealing with burnout. Our society is undergoing a dark night of the soul, so to speak, and it’s really damaging the way we’re handling stuff.

Simply put, people should have a certain spark of life behind their eyes. It’s scary that we’re living in a time when seeing that dead, bored stare is such a normal thing.

Lately, I’ve been looking at how I’ve been able to pick myself up from all the crap handed to me. There is a fix here, though it takes a little work on your behalf. Here’s how I have been able to fix myself…

If you can take a vacation, by all means, do. I can’t, so I won’t.

I went dark on social media and dropped my workload to mandatory stuff only. I didn’t want to deal with constant social media back and forth, regular deadlines, or other similar garbage. I needed time.

So I took time. I started to (quite literally) do nothing but hibernate, hit up spas, and eat for two days out of the week. If a client needs me, I try to talk as much as I can, but right now my body and mind are both pretty busted.

Everyone has a certain thing that helps ground them. Sometimes, it’s sex. Other times, it’s music. Still more times, it’s cooking and a damn good conversation. Or maybe it’s watching a rom-com with your girls.

Now is the time to reach out to those who “get” you on that level and ask for some quality time. This is not always easy to do, depending on who you are and what helps you heal. Reaching out to people who don’t judge is important.

For me, sex is a major healing factor. So, I’ve been hooking up with people who genuinely show serious interest in me. I’ve also started shooting content with people whom I enjoy spending time around.

Yes, I’ve been resting a lot more. If I have been appearing lazy, that’s because I have been doing my own thing. I’m listening to my body.

If you’re like me, you have a tendency of working very hard while people don’t pour into your cup back. It’s a sick cycle that makes me victimize myself time and time again. I realized I need to stop this cycle.

I’m working on this, but one of the reasons why I’ve been so burnt out deals with reciprocity. I kept thinking that if I worked hard, did everything right, and tried my hardest to get people to listen, that they’d get it.

It’s not going to work.

I realized I need to work on moving on from the people who didn’t care about my special days. Specific people know exactly why I’m upset with them. I’m only burning myself more and more waiting for them to send back the energy I kept sending them.

If they want to apologize and make right on their own accord, fine. But me waiting, nagging, or exploding over it isn’t doing anything beneficial. If you’re in a similar situation, trust me when I say that working yourself up over things people aren’t giving you isn’t helping.

Your best bet is to accept that they are not going to be the people you need them to be and act accordingly. If they change, great. If not, then you’re best off matching their energy or leaving.

Yes, I’m going to tell you to touch grass. Having fun outside, even if it doesn’t cost you a dime, makes for a very good refresher. It makes you feel grounded. Alive. Sane, even.

I felt a lot more put-together after going out for a drive with my mom, who has been trying to make a bigger effort in helping me recover after I had emotionally shattered.

People don’t really appreciate how bad the news can mess with their heads until they take a break from it. If you’re suffering from doomscrolling, switch to a “stupid” phone for a while and don’t look the proverbial Medusa in the eyes.

One of my best friends bought me a ticket to one of my favorite Korean bathhouses. We had a great day of dining, I got a full body scrub, and we sweat it out in a 600-year-old tradition. (I’ll add photos tomorrow or so for proof.)

Of course, I also have a set budget for keeping up my looks. After all, I do work as a model, writer, and influencer. I have to look good. So, I take time at the tanning salon and nail salon as a way to relax and focus on me.

I realize not everyone has that kind of money. If you do, by all means, invest in your looks and wellness.

I’m currently in the process of trying to wean myself off kratom. I’ve been using this supplement (and kava) as a way to stay calm and get creative while writing and focusing on business.

It’s no longer helping me as much as it once did and I’m beginning to realize I need to figure out how to deal with whatever is going on in my brain. So I might go to a psychiatrist or figure out how to taper down my kratom use faster.

Most people ask why I don’t do therapy, and it’s because it’s never turned out well for me. I don’t like it. It winds me up and I hate that. It can work well for others, but I’m not one of those people.

I’m not a person who works well with therapy, so I’m not going to bother with that because it tends to worsen my PTSD. However, I’m down for medication, maybe.

I actually have been working on figuring out how to make the most of my solo time and my future businesses. If I’m going to get out of this, I might as well figure out how to avoid the same issues that landed me in this pit right now.

I’m really crispy and overwhelmed. I’m trying to get better, though. It’s all anyone can do.