Most people have certain regrets about life — and one of mine was not joining a sorority. I mean, not for nothing, but I think I’d have been a good sister. I can drink heavily, fundraise, and also deal with insane crap every day.
Yet at the same time, I often vacillate between thinking that it’s a good thing sororities exist and thinking that it’s a practice best left for the past. #RushTok and #BamaRush have, once again, reminded me why I tend to lean on the side of banning Greek life.
For those not in the know, #BamaRush and #RushTok are two TikTok trends about women rushing SEC sororities.
In the South, joining a sorority can make or break your experience at school. If you don’t make it, you’ll likely struggle to make friends at your university, lose out on connections, and have an overall bad time at school. It’s rough.
The obsession and work put into rushing a sorority in these schools has always been a little insane. From stomps and claps to having to get a new outfit every day of Rush Week, there has always been a lot of work involved in finding a new “home” at college.
Social media dialed it up a notch.
The internet responded, hard.
Once a small local-ish culture relegated to colleges, #RushTok became a major source of young influencers, insane videos, and drama.
The girls in the sororities now have to do massive, professionally shot, coordinated videos to advertise their houses. Sorority leaders often have to answer media requests. Members often get local boutique swag bags because they’re treated as influencers.
PNMs, or Potential New Members, have a serious uphill battle to deal with. Though houses officially tell PNMs (or “rushees”) to drop off social media during Rush Week, the truth is there’s still a large, unspoken pressure to post, post, post.
New PNMs get into school, get introduced to the houses, and then it starts: the Get Ready With Me videos, the Outfit of the Day videos, videos of PNMs talking about their experiences, and the occasional video of them being posted online that they don’t even know about.
As a content creator, I can tell you that churning out videos is brutal. Those girls have their work cut out for them. Moreover, they’re doing it in the hot, hot Alabama sun. So far, I’ve seen at least two mentions of a heat stroke and/or fainting from PNMs.
And the girls rushing? They are becoming online celebrities — just take a look at Izzy Darnell.
With all the buzz on #RushTok comes the ugly side of the net.
Do I need to spell things out here? Well, maybe I do. Rushing sororities is a major decision in Alabama. It’s so big, it’s actually creating a cause for concern.
This isn’t entirely new, per se. There’s a long history of sororities getting “gifts” from PNM moms as a way to try to sweeten the deal of accepting their daughters into the sorority.
The difference is that the #RushTok magnitude has seemingly tripled or quadrupled. So far, I’ve seen…
Comments ripping young women apart over their outfits and makeup routines.
Adult (over 40) men leaving really improper comments on these rush videos.
Mothers of PNMs harassing, psyching out, and otherwise trying to intimidate other PNMs.
Mothers proudly talking about trying to rent a room across from Frat Row for their son’s (or worse, daughter’s) rushing moments.
The comments get vicious — absolutely vicious. As in, some of the pressure these girls are under could rival what I’ve seen in the porn industry. What’s more, these PNMs? They’re barely legal adults and I don’t think most of them want to live the influencer life.
They’re there because they want to make new friends, have a good college life, and then move onto a career of their choosing. They’re not asking to be picked apart. They’re just asking to go through a rite of passage.
I’m honestly a little concerned about these people’s safety.
Look man, far be it for me to be pearl-clutching and everything, but I can speak from personal experience that I know how sororities get fetishized. I’ve seen plenty of women get assaulted or creeped on by older men because of their Greek status or Greek appearance.
A lot of people tend to see young, vulnerable women and get pushy — frat boys included. So far, schools have had to ask people who weren’t even students to stop recording on Frat Row during Rush Week. Most houses also encouraged girls to drop off social media while rushing because of this.
I’m also not going to stay silent about the other big issue: stalking. With social media presence comes the chance of stalking and assault. And let’s not forget, some of those sorority PNM moms aren’t all there. There’s a definite risk that some of those women might harass girls they deem as a threat into dropping the house of their choice.
This is not a minor issue, either. Most people really don’t know how bad this can get. I have friends who had open FBI cases due to stalking and harassment. It’s enough to scare many hardened adult performers — and that’s saying something.
These women are 18 through 22 years old, and we’re treating them like they’re veterans of the celebrity meat-grinder. That’s incredibly alarming.
My advice to the school and the sororities is below.
If your school is Bama or any of the other SEC colleges, please listen to this humble writer’s advice. Here’s what I’d do to keep the girls (and guys) safe:
Make a hardline stance against uninvited outsiders filming on campus during rush. No official pass, no filming. In fact, I might go so far as to suggest petitioning the local police force to turn that into a private area during Rush Week.
Immediately bar any PNM whose mother or older siblings start drama related to Rush online. This is not okay and these women should know better. The only way to knock it off is to ensure they understand they’re hurting their PNMs’ chances by doing this.
Issue out safety guidelines for pledges of both sorority and fraternity groups. Heck, give them a specialized app for a “buddy system” escort if they are worried about harassment from people that don’t belong. Give them tips on staying safe online during Rush, what to do if you believe you’re being targeted, and who to call.
Believe it or not, I no longer advocate for the full end of Greek life. If anything, I think that it should be expanded so that EVERY single pledge gets at least one bid and that it becomes a major part of the college experience for everyone.
But if we’re going to do that, it’s gotta stay safe. #BamaRush is good social media material, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of pledge safety. That’s my $0.02c.
