So, I’ll give a full disclosure: I’m not a woodsy-outdoorsy type. I get sick outdoors. Really sick. Camping is a roll of the dice: will I survive, or will I be a partially-paralyzed, delirious, tongues-speaking mess?
With that said, I still encourage people to leave nature the fuck alone. Humanity has not been good to nature and it’s generally best that we leave it alone, try to rewild it, and keep our mark as small as possible.
We have the technology to turn our world into a solarpunk utopia where food is grown in every city, most food is vegetarian, and supplementation for people like myself would be dirt cheap to get. We haven’t done this because humanity is led by idiots.
Just when I thought Trump was the dumbest influence on our nation, I saw the influencers scaling Mt. Everest.
Apparently, this is the new “hot thing” among influencer: climbing Mt. Everest. Climbing Mt. Everest is a status symbol because few people actually do it, it’s very likely that you might die trying, and well, it’s also expensive as hell to do so.
Seriously. It costs a minimum of $30,000 to scale Mount Everest. Many of the influencers that you see doing this will pay much more, with some doing even six figures. That’s not always including the cost of the airline tickets, either.
To a point, scaling Everest makes sense as a status symbol.
It’s not just expensive. It is an accomplishment, provided that you survive it. It takes ample time and preparation and it takes months to actually do it. That’s a serious commitment not everyone can do. Moreover, it’s totally optional.
Here’s why it’s a stupid, awful, and disrespectful idea.
Okay, for real, though?
FUCK THESE GUYS AND THE TIJUANA DONKEY SHOW PONY THEY RODE IN ON.
There are very few things as awful as turning a life-threatening, over-expensive, environmentally destructive activity into a status symbol. We already deal with a hyper-consumerist culture, but must we also turn one of the most sacred parts of the planet into a consumable item too?
Well, if you can’t guess, I hate the idea of people scaling Everest these days. Let me spell out why.
It’s stupidly dangerous, selfish to your loved ones, and unnecessary.
Let’s start off with the most obvious issue. A lot of these influencers show up on their streams, blistered, crying, and acting like they were forced to climb up a mile-high mountain. I’d empathize, but no one forced them to do this.
If they were smart, they would have stayed the fuck home. Hell, if they even cared for their loved ones, they would have stayed the fuck home. That danger (and danger of perishing) doesn’t just affect them.
There are so many deaths associated with this activity that it comes with a warning label. Here’s the kicker: if you die on Everest, your body generally can’t be retrieved.
Due to the oxygen levels, the blistering cold, and the unfriendly terrain, even local sherpas can’t physically get those bodies off the mountain. So, once you’re dead there, you’re not getting a funeral.
The environment is so unfriendly that it even kills germs and scavengers that would normally help a corpse decompose. That’s why people use specific dead bodies as mile markers on the mountain. They stay there for decades.
On a similar note, getting a rescue chopper is difficult to do — and sometimes, impossible. If other hikers see you, they can’t help you because they may run out of oxygen doing so. So, if you can’t get down or stay too long in the Zone of Death, you’re fucked.
I want to point out that no one is forcing these rich twats to climb up this mountain. It’s their decision. They don’t have to do this.
The Mt. Everest climb tourism industry is absolutely terrible for the environment.
Remember when I said that dead bodies don’t rot up on Mount Everest? Those bodies, plus the belongings of the deceased, are stuck up there. Forever. That’s already bad, but it gets worse when you consider how modern travelers treat this mountain.
Modern hikers do not bring things with them all the way through. This means that the mountain has become a literal junkyard of tossed water bottles, tossed canisters, ruined clothing, as well as fecal matter — just to name a few of the things that are regularly dumped.
When the weather gets warm enough, the feces that people released on the mountain can melt into a foul-smelling poop slide. This drops right down the mountain, making it slippery for mountaineers and turning into a potential water hazard for the villages below.
Right now, sherpas are the ones who have to go up the mountain and risk their lives to keep the area clean of trash. Visitors don’t care enough to preserve the very setting they traveled across the world to see.
The problem is not a minor one by any means, nor is it a problem that local sherpas are even remotely equipped to handle. As of right now, experts believe that there is about 50,000 metric tons of pure pollution and trash brought up the mountain from all these “heroic climbers.”
The overcramped lines of people aren’t helping the situation, either. While it was rare to see climbers in the 80s and 90s, it’s 2025 now. You can find video footage of people doing the trek online and it looks like the world’s longest waterpark line.
According to National Geographic, 600 people try to scale Everest in the first couple of weeks of each year alone — not including their team. That’s a lot of poop piss, and trash being dumped. And as of right now, the villages at the bottom of the mountain do not have the tech or resources to clean that water.
Cholera, Hepatitis A, and other pathogens are on the rise. And it’s these tourists’ fault.
Did I mention there is no need to do this?
I’m a believer that certain areas should not be expanded into without good reason, such as a food shortage or an extreme need for housing that cannot be solved with Commie Bauhaus-style apartment blocks. Or for a jail that’s far away from others. Or a village like that sex offender town, away from children.
We have photos of Everest’s summit. We have accounts of the climb. We know what plant life and animals are up there. If we didn’t, we could use drones or something to find out. There is no legitimate reason why we should haul ass up there, save for cleaning up, which is clearly not the program.
So, let’s really spell this all out:
These walking skinflutes are spending six figures to potentially kill themselves to climb up an overgrown rock. I mean if you want to hurt yourself, there are other ways to do it that don’t involve that much money, FFS.
Every hike up the mountain hurts the local environment. Don’t forget how much that pollution taints the drinking water, especially since climate change is making snow melt at faster rates, making shit slides more common year after year.
This is only done for likes and views. It’s twisted that people are okay with risking death and harming an exceptionally fragile environment just for likes. Mind you, all of this is not necessary.
Mount Everest needs to stop being a tourist destination for the same reason that the coral reefs need to be left the fuck alone.
Right now, our planet is dying. Going to certain parts and doing basically anything in those areas is only speeding up the process. The last thing we should be doing is allowing it to go on faster.
Honestly, both Nepal and China should agree to ban climbers with the exception fo cleanup crews and science groups. The fact that this activity is a status symbol is awful.
Here’s what I’d support influencers doing instead.
Influencers, hear me out. Rather than helping ruin a mountain, how about influencers work on rewilding and rebuilding their local environments? Think about the opportunities:
It’d be great PR. I would share the shit out of that. Just saying. No one can crap on that.
It’d be less costly to plant a fuckton of trees native to your area than it would be to scale a mountain. Or maybe not even trees. What about a wild garden of rare indigenous plants? Or what about buying a tract of land to just preserve it as nature?
You can still do the exact same things for content. You can do “Get Ready With Me’s” on there. You can do interviews. You can do dances or whatever once you’re done. The only thing you can’t do is get frostbite…usually.
It could probably be a better, easier tax deduction. I’d check with a CPA or tax expert before I make that deduction, since I am not an accountant and cannot give tax advice. But it seems like it’d be easier to explain and more likely to turn into an epic 501(c)3 than a trip to a mountain.
I’m just saying. If inlfuencers want to wail and cry about how hard they have it, they can at least do so while doing something good for the planet — even if it’s superficial.
Meanwhile, China and Nepal should really team up to keep those stupid fucking yutzes off of the Himalayas. It’d benefit both of their countries quite well.
Who wants me to bite them?
