Trump Is The Right-Wing Santa Claus

Lately, I’ve been writing about a lot of serious topics. Let me lighten the mood with a hilarious story from my past as a part of the underground rave scene. Part of my past involves drugs and people who used them a bit too much.

Lately, one of those awkward moments kept ringing in my mind.

Such was the case with a former fling of mine, who we’ll call Camron*. Camron was a gorgeous guy who was known for his fiery attitude and his love of PCP. He was also an entertainer at the parties we’d throw, not to mention a good lover.

One day, Camron took too much PCP. The last thing I heard of him was that he was screaming about demons in the traphouse. He vanished and my clique couldn’t find him for the better part of six months.

Eventually, I had to take a train from Newark Penn to a party in Brooklyn. My friend, who we’ll call Josh*, was accompanying me on the train, complete with his hip flask in tow.

Josh was not a raver, per se. He was just this cool, yet anxious dude with an acerbic wit that liked to go on adventures with me. Josh knew Camron. As we boarded the train, lo and behold, there was Camron.

Camron looked a little worse for the wear. He was also holding a bible upside-down, avidly talking to a dude who was slowly crawling up one of those subway poles people hold onto.

“Oh dear,” I said.

“Listen, like we gotta be all righteous and get outta Newark!” said Camron.

“Yeah! Otherwise we’ll be wrong-shus!” said his new friend, crawling up the wall.

“Like, think about this. Jesus is like Tupac or Santa Claus. Where is he? WHERE IS HE?!” said Camron.

His friend seemed very impressed, “WOAH. You’re right! Tupac is everywhere!”

“He sees you when you’re sleeping!” Camron said. “Jesus sees all!”

“Tupac sees me when I’m sleeping?” I asked Josh. “What in the…”

Josh: “I need a drink to hear this the entire way to the city, Ossiana.”

I sat in silent awe as my now-former friend waved the bible, citing parts of it that did not exist, to his petite congregation who clearly had a little too much as well. It was a very long train ride.

I never saw Camron again after that.

I couldn’t help but think about how much the “sermon” sounds like Trump these days.

Maybe it’s just me, but I couldn’t help but notice how many right-wing people seem to deify Donald Trump. But, it’s not a normal type of deification. Rather, they seem to turn Trump into a bizarre Santa Claus that just reflects what they want to see happen in America.

One thing that became abundantly clear after the election is that many of Trump’s voters didn’t listen to a word he said.

Donald Trump made it crystal clear that he wanted to impose tariffs on other countries. His buddy, Elon, made it clear that he wanted to crash the economy. Both of them mentioned cutting social services and government assistance.

Moreover, the mechanics of Project 2025 made a point of publicly showing that they wanted to outlaw abortion, criminalize porn, and do a slew of other deeds that are grossly unpopular with most people. They are now being appointed to the highest parts of government.

What’s unique about this is that Trump’s voters did not vote for this to happen. Rather, they were adamant that “Trump would never do that” and that “he wasn’t serious” about those promises.

This is the first time in history that a candidate’s own voter base voted for him under the belief that he was lying to them about what he wanted to do.

Trump’s voters aren’t listening to Trump; they’re listening to what they want him to be.

So far, I’ve heard of Trump supporters say the following:

• Trump is going to make my business easier to run by lowering the cost of materials.

• Trump is doing away with Medicaid and Social Security so we can get nationalized healthcare.

• Trump is going to push away the bad immigrants so that good immigrants like me come in!

• Trump is going to make it easier for me to get a girlfriend.

• Trump is going to bring back good ol’ American values.

Here’s the thing: Donald Trump’s people never promised any of these things or even came up with a solution for the things they claimed they’d do. They’re just assuming that he’ll do what they want him to do — which has nothing to do with reality.

This is the same thing kids do with Santa Claus. The difference is that kids are kids, Santa Claus is magic, and Donald Trump is a 70-year-old despot who craps his pants in court.

When you talk to Trump voters, they often can’t tell which policy they voted for — or if they do, it’s a policy that hurts them.

We’ve all seen stories of people who asked what policy Trump wants to implement that people vote for, only for the voter to reply with a shrug, a stammer, or a blank stare.

Another common trope I’ve been seeing, particularly among Hispanic voters deals with Trump magically “knowing” who are “the bad ones” in America.

It’s a refrain I hear: “Oh, he wouldn’t deport my grandma. He’s only going after the criminals. Don’t you worry!”

I don’t want to remind them that being here illegally automatically means you’re committing a crime. But, I also can’t help but feel like this is another way they liken Trump to Santa Claus.

Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness’s sake. Trump knows if you’ve been bad or good…how, exactly? It’s not like Santa, where elfin magic can explain it away.

How does Trump know who “the bad guys” are? Oh yeah. He doesn’t know shit aside from their skin color — which will undoubtedly be the basis on whether he will deport them.

I can’t help think that Trumpers are wishing for a Santa Claus in their leader.

I was able to laugh off seeing Camron call Tupac Shakur, Jesus, and Santa Claus the same person. I mean, I’m hoping he’s doing better now. It takes a long time to heal from drug-based brain damage. I ought to know.

I’m not able to laugh off how many people are treating Donald Trump like a political Santa Claus who can make all the bad things in life disappear with a magical wave of a covfefe.

Camron doesn’t harm anyone because he’s out there, preaching peace and love and Tupac. Trump can and will harm others because he’s literally coasting on hate speech. Trump’s policies will kill people.

Trump is real, but he ain’t no Santa Claus. He’s a person who history will look back on with an angry eye, not unlike Adolf Hitler. Trump cares about Trump, no one else.

While we can blame it on indoctrination, Trump’s rise to “Santa Claus status” signals something else in our society.

Generally speaking, people don’t naturally get into magical thinking. That’s a sign they’re coping with something they feel they can’t fix through regular means. It’s a sign that they want to believe someone, anyone who says things will be better.

Trump’s Santa-like appeal is that he offers that odd comfort, even if he himself isn’t doing anything that helps our country. He offers an identity, a community, and a sense of superiority in times when most Americans struggle to feel like they’re worth anything.

The problem with Kamala Harris’s campaign was that she kept it real. She gave actual plans to help Americans get healthcare, plans to help us start businesses, and plans to tamp down on Big Business. When you want Santa Claus, you don’t want real. You want magic.

When you become so desperate for magic that reality no longer interests you, you get peoples’ reaction to Trump. It’s not about the plans or reality anymore. It’s about people who need to believe so hard, they will view any affront to Trump as an insult to themselves.

Trump offers someone for people to blame, a nebulous “other” that changes with the demographic the GOP appeals to. The QAnon psyop turned Trump into the man trying to “drain the Swamp” of corruption, a near-Jesus in the eyes of Q followers.

Nothing Kamala Harris could have said or done would have changed peoples’ votes for her. It’s like telling little kids to vote against Santa Claus. It won’t happen because they believe in him.

In voters’ eyes, Trump is the vengeance they wish they could enact on others — the schoolyard bully on their side. Kamala can’t compete with that fantasy.

And it’s time we get honest about this fact. Because until we find a way to tell them that their Santa is more like Krampus, our democracy will continue to suffer.